Sunday, November 06, 2005
Crossroads
My dad has a photo of him with his "gang" buddies, 5 of them, at their 20s. A very good black and white photo. It hangs on the wall at the living room at my parents' house. My dad and his buddies were so close and did things together, chasing girls, travelling and all the things any young guys would do. But once they got married and had a life of their own, only one guy ever visited and contact my dad. And vice versa, my dad never contacted any of them but this one guy either. Looks like when you're geting old and start to go your own seperated life, the friendship that you thought would last forever seems just like a dream. It has become just another wonderful memories of the past.
Back then, I used to look at the photo and think about me and my "gang" buddies. I always thought that there's no way we would end up like my dad's gang. We were inseparable. We were closer than brothers. We would die for each other. We would get old together. We would have our own kids and they also would be buddies like us. Yeah I remember we used to talk about it and had a good laugh. But now I'm sitting here and writing about this in past tense format. It's coming to an end.
*Flashback~
As teenagers we all have to go through a phase of life where you start to learn to live socially, it's not just you and your family anymore, friends have become the most important part of your life. You spend most of your time with them. You trust them more than anyone. Your favorite words are solidarity and hang out. You discover so many new things with them, the good ones and the bad ones. You don't mind being scolded and grounded by your parents for them. You start to realize how fun it is being a part of a group which shares the same interests and watches your back. Having fun will never be the same again. And friendship has a new meaning. And for me, it all started when I was at the third year of Junior Highschool, the time when I found my buddies.
Since then there had never been a single day that I'm not with them. There had never been a day when I spend my time alone. Happy times, bad times, they were always be there for me and vice versa. And when I go to Senior Highschool it just got better. More and more buddies and more and more activities and new experiences.
Now those times are gone. Now they're not here anymore. We've been at the crossroads together and each of us has gone a different paths.
My bestest friend has gone to and working as an illegal worker in Japan, to fight for his dream. We barely contact now, eventhough we have emails and internet it's just not the same. The only thing I can do is praying that he would find what he's looking for. One of my buddies, went back to Kalimantan dan continue his parents business, we can only see each other once in every few months. The other guy has started his own business and keep travelling all over the country to market his products. And the girls, they're busy with their boyfriends and preparing for marriage and all that. The others are busy with jobs and business. We barely hang out together anymore. Maybe just once in a year, if somebody is getting maried or celebrating birthdays. Aside from those events we never see each other anymore. And I'm getting lonely. I miss the old good times.
Of course, life must go on. And I have found new buddies now. They're great and wonderful. I'm grateful that I've found them. But still nothing can ever replace those memories I had with my old buddies. They are a part of who I am today.
Our friendship is still there. We still have each other. But it's not the same anymore now. I don't want to believe it, but it's happening. Is it true that friendship doesn't last forever once we have chosen different life paths?
Ahh I miss them so much now..
My dad has a photo of him with his "gang" buddies, 5 of them, at their 20s. A very good black and white photo. It hangs on the wall at the living room at my parents' house. My dad and his buddies were so close and did things together, chasing girls, travelling and all the things any young guys would do. But once they got married and had a life of their own, only one guy ever visited and contact my dad. And vice versa, my dad never contacted any of them but this one guy either. Looks like when you're geting old and start to go your own seperated life, the friendship that you thought would last forever seems just like a dream. It has become just another wonderful memories of the past.
Back then, I used to look at the photo and think about me and my "gang" buddies. I always thought that there's no way we would end up like my dad's gang. We were inseparable. We were closer than brothers. We would die for each other. We would get old together. We would have our own kids and they also would be buddies like us. Yeah I remember we used to talk about it and had a good laugh. But now I'm sitting here and writing about this in past tense format. It's coming to an end.
*Flashback~
As teenagers we all have to go through a phase of life where you start to learn to live socially, it's not just you and your family anymore, friends have become the most important part of your life. You spend most of your time with them. You trust them more than anyone. Your favorite words are solidarity and hang out. You discover so many new things with them, the good ones and the bad ones. You don't mind being scolded and grounded by your parents for them. You start to realize how fun it is being a part of a group which shares the same interests and watches your back. Having fun will never be the same again. And friendship has a new meaning. And for me, it all started when I was at the third year of Junior Highschool, the time when I found my buddies.
Since then there had never been a single day that I'm not with them. There had never been a day when I spend my time alone. Happy times, bad times, they were always be there for me and vice versa. And when I go to Senior Highschool it just got better. More and more buddies and more and more activities and new experiences.
Now those times are gone. Now they're not here anymore. We've been at the crossroads together and each of us has gone a different paths.
My bestest friend has gone to and working as an illegal worker in Japan, to fight for his dream. We barely contact now, eventhough we have emails and internet it's just not the same. The only thing I can do is praying that he would find what he's looking for. One of my buddies, went back to Kalimantan dan continue his parents business, we can only see each other once in every few months. The other guy has started his own business and keep travelling all over the country to market his products. And the girls, they're busy with their boyfriends and preparing for marriage and all that. The others are busy with jobs and business. We barely hang out together anymore. Maybe just once in a year, if somebody is getting maried or celebrating birthdays. Aside from those events we never see each other anymore. And I'm getting lonely. I miss the old good times.
Of course, life must go on. And I have found new buddies now. They're great and wonderful. I'm grateful that I've found them. But still nothing can ever replace those memories I had with my old buddies. They are a part of who I am today.
Our friendship is still there. We still have each other. But it's not the same anymore now. I don't want to believe it, but it's happening. Is it true that friendship doesn't last forever once we have chosen different life paths?
Ahh I miss them so much now..