Sunday, August 07, 2005
If You Don't Love Me Lie To Me
If there is one thing so selfish, so self-centered and so egoistic that it blinds us all most of the time, it is love.
Eventhough up to this point I'm still searching to understand the meaning of love. What it is and what it means to me. I had this sort of stupid "revelation" about a little aspect of love yet important that we miss sometimes; love is a very selfish thing.
I've heard somewhere that we fall in love because "we are addicted to the sensation and certain feelings that we expect the other person/our partner to give us". And I found it most likely to be true.
If we're being honest with ourselves, we would find that it is because we like so much the certain feelings we feel when we are with a certain person that makes us think we're in love. So it's like 90% about us and only 10% about the other person. We care about the other person and also want him/her to feel the same way like we do, because we like the feeling when our concerns and feelings are responded the way that we wanted them to be responded. So actually, it's what we feel that matters. Not his/hers.
I love the way you smile, yeah because your smile gives me that certain feelings. I love the way you talk to me, yeah because it gives me the butterfly in my stomach and I like it when it happens. I love the way you touch me, yeah because I like the tingling sensation it gives me. I love the way you love me, yeah because I like the feeling of being loved. It's all about me, me, me and ME!
Even when we sacrifice something for our partner, like letting him/her go to be with another person and say that "As long as you're happy. I'm willing to sacrifice", it is actually our feelings that matters too. We feel that we've done something good by letting her be happy, it makes us feel good in a certain way.
To extend this concept about selfishness even broader, we do everything that we do because we are selfish. Because we think that it would give us the certain feelings that we wanted in the first place. Vice versa, we hate certain things because they don't give us the certain feelings we wanted in the first place.
Is it bad or good, well I don't know. We're only human. But it gives me certain questions, if the concept of love is the one without selfishness, then do we really care when we care? Or is it just ourselves that we care about. Do we really love when we love? Or is it just ourselves that we love. Makes me rethink and redefine about all the concept of love that I've been holding to all this time.
What makes me wonder is that, do we really have to live all our lives strained by this selfishness? Is it possible to do anything without being selfish? Or is it the selfishness that makes us human? The essence of survival?
If there is one thing so selfish, so self-centered and so egoistic that it blinds us all most of the time, it is love.
Eventhough up to this point I'm still searching to understand the meaning of love. What it is and what it means to me. I had this sort of stupid "revelation" about a little aspect of love yet important that we miss sometimes; love is a very selfish thing.
I've heard somewhere that we fall in love because "we are addicted to the sensation and certain feelings that we expect the other person/our partner to give us". And I found it most likely to be true.
If we're being honest with ourselves, we would find that it is because we like so much the certain feelings we feel when we are with a certain person that makes us think we're in love. So it's like 90% about us and only 10% about the other person. We care about the other person and also want him/her to feel the same way like we do, because we like the feeling when our concerns and feelings are responded the way that we wanted them to be responded. So actually, it's what we feel that matters. Not his/hers.
I love the way you smile, yeah because your smile gives me that certain feelings. I love the way you talk to me, yeah because it gives me the butterfly in my stomach and I like it when it happens. I love the way you touch me, yeah because I like the tingling sensation it gives me. I love the way you love me, yeah because I like the feeling of being loved. It's all about me, me, me and ME!
Even when we sacrifice something for our partner, like letting him/her go to be with another person and say that "As long as you're happy. I'm willing to sacrifice", it is actually our feelings that matters too. We feel that we've done something good by letting her be happy, it makes us feel good in a certain way.
To extend this concept about selfishness even broader, we do everything that we do because we are selfish. Because we think that it would give us the certain feelings that we wanted in the first place. Vice versa, we hate certain things because they don't give us the certain feelings we wanted in the first place.
Is it bad or good, well I don't know. We're only human. But it gives me certain questions, if the concept of love is the one without selfishness, then do we really care when we care? Or is it just ourselves that we care about. Do we really love when we love? Or is it just ourselves that we love. Makes me rethink and redefine about all the concept of love that I've been holding to all this time.
What makes me wonder is that, do we really have to live all our lives strained by this selfishness? Is it possible to do anything without being selfish? Or is it the selfishness that makes us human? The essence of survival?